“Ask Annie”

Hi Yihao! I’m so sorry to hear that is happening to you Yihao. No real friend would ever subject their bestie to such a betrayal of trust and personal boundaries. The fact that your friend did that to you speaks miles about the content of their character, as a close friend could almost feel like a brother/sister in arms. What I would personally do is try and set up a time to meet one-on-one, be it after school, on a weekend afternoon, or in some other quiet area. In this meetup, I would recommend that you announce your issues with your “friends” actions and tell them that you cannot keep this relationship going, as such a violation of your personal trust cannot simply fly under the rug. After this talk with your best friend, I suggest you also talk to your significant other in the same fashion and let them go. I understand that this is a rough situation Yihao, but in my opinion, it’s always better to distance yourself from people who take advantage of you and feel temporary grief, than stay with them and be made a mockery of simply because they are your friend or boyfriend.

I know I should participate more in class as a junior, but online school is just so draining! Keeping my camera on and unmuting in class all the time seems so impossible. The problem is, I need to get teacher recommendations next year for college applications. What do I do!  – Neif

Hi Neif! Don’t worry I know lots of other kids are in your same position currently. Being online for us is such a new and different thing that none of us are used to and obviously learning is quite different than before, and I know at times you just want to go one your phone and get distracted, but you need to stop yourself. Getting rid of any distractions during school can definitely help with your focus, I’ve made a point to make sure to put my phone away so I can focus more on the class and I’m much more focused. Maybe make more time for yourself, before or after school, and just unwind and relax and not focus on school for a while. Go on a walk possibly! Taking more time for yourself and unwinding after a long day could help you be less stressed and drained during the school day. Also it might be hard and draining to pay attention and participate in class, but you need to. Next year we’re going to have to go back to normal and online won’t be the normal anymore so you need to be prepared. Try slowly to get back in the school groove and start participating more gradually as time passes! Don’t worry we still have a few weeks left, you got this!

Hi Annie, it’s been very hard for me to meet new people or even connect with my friends during Covid. My question is, how do you suggest students go about meeting people during these challenging times. Thanks! -Butterflygirl

Hi Butterflygirl! Yes making new friends during this time has been very difficult! Without being able to see peers in class and really talk to them one on one its basically impossible. First off I understand where you’re coming from with it being hard to connect with even your friends. Maintaining those friendships may seem hard but you just need to try. Maybe just send a text asking them how their day went, or even calling them, just try to make simple conversation to connect again. If you can you could even meet up with your friends socially distanced and safe so that you can keep the friendship going. Without being able to interact face to face with our peers in class if you’re online learning, making new friends is pretty difficult. If you have to do group projects maybe consider talking more to the people in your group and developing a friendship, or even when we occasionally have to do breakout rooms! Also clubs are a great way to still make friends even with covid! Lot’s of face to face events for clubs are safe for students so consider going to an event and making friends! Also luckily for us we live in an age of social media and if there’s a person you’ve wanted to talk and interact with, maybe consider starting a conversation with them! You got this!

I am in love with this girl. She is the nicest, kindest person I know. I have asked her out, but she said no, ever since then I can’t get her out of my head. I don’t know what to do. -Guyinlove123

Hi Guyinlove123. Sorry to hear about your dilemma! You say you’re in love with this girl? First, I’d like to you to take a second and think about as to why? Why do you think you’re in love with her and how does this affect your current relationship with her? I don’t know how long you’ve known her or how close you two are, but if you’re in love with her and she doesn’t feel the same way, then I suggest keeping your distance until your feelings pass and you move on. If this isn’t realistic and you see each other often, then the best thing you can do is be the bigger person and let it go for her sake and for your friendship. Unfortunately, no matter how much we love someone we can’t control their feelings. 

I know that I’m going to sound cliché but a guy I like has been sending me signals that he likes me as well. I don’t know if that’s just his personality or if he really does like me… and I don’t want it to make things weird between us.
My question is: should I ask him out or no? -Help

Hello Help! There is only so much time before the end of the school year, so definitely shoot your shot! You say that you like him, simply asking him would be the way to find out how he feels about you. It may be scary, but it will be worth it! If y’all are already good friends you will probably stay friends, even if he doesn’t like you in that way. And then if he does like you, you can hopefully pursue a relationship together! Either way, you really have nothing to lose and you will relieve yourself of the stress of not knowing. 

“I am having trouble choosing between two sports for next year, what should I do?” – Prettynscorn

Hi Prettynscorn! First, take a step back and think about why you’re having to choose between these two sports? Maybe it’s getting to the point where your everyday schedule can’t handle two sports or you’ve just come to the conclusion that you don’t want to deal with two sports anymore. Those two reason are totally understandable and natural to experience as a high school athlete (take it from someone who knows).

The best advice I can give you is to do what YOU want to do. Choose the sport you love more or the one you’d want to finish off in high school or even use to take you to the next level. Whether choosing one sport is your idea or what someone else is pushing, you have to listen to your gut and do what’s going to make you happy. You never know, if you look little more into it (if you haven’t already), you might even be able to do both!

Write us back sometime to tell us what all happened! We want to know what you choose to do in the end!

“I like this guy, but I don’t know if he like me back. Sometimes he flirts and sometimes he doesn’t. Should I just ask him?” – Themgrumpyrainbows

Hello Thengrumpyrainbows! Yes! You should definitely put yourself out there; nothing can hurt from asking! You should definitely take the chance because it may pay off in the end. It could work out and you two could be very happy together all because you took that first step! The worst that could happen is he says no, and you would walk away knowing you are a strong, independent individual and you just took a really brave chance! Plus, you deserve someone who cares about you just as much as you care about them. So, I think you should go for it! What do you have to lose?  

“One day as I was going home, i suddenly saw my crush going the same way with me and stand there then stare at me as I passed by. At school, we were walking in opposite direction which facing each other and I noticed that he always look straight at me. So is it really something considered that he likes me?” – ladybug123

Hi ladybug123! Okay, so there are two possibilities to this situation. There’s a possibility that he could be looking at you because he’s interested, or we could be mistaken. For example, sometimes when sitting in class or walking through the halls, it seems as though someone is looking at you, when in reality they’re looking just past you or zoning out.

On the other hand, if you find yourselves making constant eye contact, showing that he’s for sure constantly looking your way, there’s a possibility he could be interested in you. If this is the case, you should try to strike up a conversation with him sometime. You’ll never know unless you go for it and take that first step.

I understand that may be hard to do when you’re talking to someone new, but you can start small, like a complement of his outfit.Obviously don’t just walk up to him say, “HEY DO YOU LIKE ME,” but just start a conversation with something like, “Hey i’ve seen you in the hallways and I just wanted to say hi.” That shows that you’ve noticed him too.If he continues the conversation or makes the effort to talk to you also, then there’s a really high chance you could be interested.

Overall, try not to assume he likes you just because he’s looking your way. But then again, you never know. It all could pay off in the end because YOU took that risk.

“How do I get rid of a toxic friend when they’re your best friend?” – Rn132

Hello Rn132. You’re not alone in this, we have definitely all been there before. Toxic friendships aren’t something that should be overlooked. One of the things about high school and growing up is that with time, you will inevitably grow apart from different people. You may also have changed your values or way of thinking, which is why your friend’s negativity is becoming so apparent to you. For this, you can’t blame yourself or feel bad because we all deserve time and space to grow- even if that means moving on from a few relationships in the process.

If you feel that this friendship is hurting you more than helping, then the reality is that this person should not only not be your best friend, but they don’t deserve to be a friend of yours in the first place. If they are constantly making you feel like you’re not worth anything, and they’re supposed to be your “friend”, then that’s a friendship that isn’t worth having. Friendship is a two-way street, and if this person can’t put in the effort, then that isn’t a friendship that’ll be good for you in the long run.  

Depending on your personality, you could reach out to this friend and explain why you feel hurt by them and why you feel the relationship is an unhealthy one, or you could simply start trying to expand your circle of friends and talk to them less.

The most important thing is that you take care of yourself. Your friends are supposed to lift you up and bring you happiness, but if the bad is outweighing the good, then it’s not something you should be putting yourself through. Life is too short for that!

“There is this girl, who I like in one of my classes. We both talk and get along very well. She is super nice, kind, and treats everyone very well. I want to ask her out, but she has a very busy schedule and wouldn’t be able to date. What should I do?” – Confused guy123

Hi there! So, you can do two different things depending on the situation.

1. Just to clarify, did she explicitly say she was busy and therefore couldn’t date? In other words, have you already asked her out, and she’s responded saying she’s very busy? If so, this is unfortunately most likely a way of her saying that she isn’t interested. If she truly was, she would make time for you and work around her schedule because the reality is, we’ve all got things on our plate and you should have a relationship where both people put in the effort. Plus, if you two, as you said, get along really well, there’s a chance she could just be talking to you as a friend.
2. But! On the other hand, if she didn’t say she was busy or couldn’t date and this is more of an assumption you’ve made, you should try to go for it and get to know her more. You can start out by learning about what she does on the weekends and after school and what makes her busy through texting/FaceTiming. This can give you better insight on her situation and if you think that a relationship between y ‘all could work out. Also, Spring Break is coming up. She may be busy, but she has to take at least one day off to relax. Use that as an opportunity to take her out and see how it goes. If after that she says she’s too busy for another date, then you might have to just let it go. But, at that point, if she’s willing to make time for another date then try to seal the deal!

Either way, it seems like she is a sweet person. The worst thing that could happen would be her telling you she’s busy, and in that case maybe back off a little. Even if you don’t end up dating, it is always good to have positive people in your life. It’s hard, but at least either way you won’t lose her as a friend!! Although, don’t forget about the possibility that she could have feelings for you back. She might just not know how you feel about her. Telling her and going for it, if you haven’t already, may be able to make all the difference!

“I start to having a crush on of my classmate for several months ago but we never talk in my class. He was always stare at me when I look at him then whenever he walks right in front of me he always turn and look at me. Is it the sign that he also likes me?”

Hi there! The first thing you need to do is find a way to talk to him- based on your eye contact it definitely seems like he’s interested in starting a conversation! Maybe he’s just a little nervous so you can be the one to initiate the conversation. You could introduce yourself or ask a question relating to the class. That way, you can tell if he really likes you based on the way he responds to the things you say and if he continues the conversation. Even if it’s about something random- put yourself out there! The first step may be nerve-wracking, but you never know what could happen because YOU talked to him first! Go for it!

“I am having trouble choosing between two sports for next year, what should I do?” – Prettynscorn

Hi Prettynscorn! First, take a step back and think about why you’re having to choose between these two sports? Maybe it’s getting to the point where your everyday schedule can’t handle two sports or you’ve just come to the conclusion that you don’t want to deal with two sports anymore. Those two reason are totally understandable and natural to experience as a high school athlete (take it from someone who knows).

The best advice I can give you is to do what YOU want to do. Choose the sport you love more or the one you’d want to finish off in high school or even use to take you to the next level. Whether choosing one sport is your idea or what someone else is pushing, you have to listen to your gut and do what’s going to make you happy. You never know, if you look little more into it (if you haven’t already), you might even be able to do both!

Write us back sometime to tell us what all happened! We want to know what you choose to do in the end!