The day I deleted my Instagram and Snapchat accounts was the best day of my life. Now, I know it may come as a shock that I chose to delete these, but honestly it has been one of the best decisions that I have ever made.

Throughout this past summer, I set out on a journey to improve myself and one way to accomplish this goal was to breathe out the negativity and breathe in the positivity. What I didn’t realize was how difficult it can be to distinguish between the two, especially when I’ve been doing the same things and hanging out with the same people for a long time that it never occurred to me if I was doing something that was bad for me.

The whole point of downloading Snapchat was to take silly pictures that would make other people laugh and to let me be myself. I honestly, can’t remember the reason why I downloaded Instagram, maybe because all my friends did? I’m not sure. It

used to be fun. It used to be a place where I could express my feelings. It used to be a place where I could be myself. About mid-September, I realized how much of a leech these social medias have become-for me at least. All I did was spend valuable hours scrolling through useless pictures/videos. Of what really? People showing everyone that they actually have a life? Don’t get me wrong, I used to do this to, but I posted pictures because everyone else did. Yes, my name is Sameen Siddiqui and I succumbed to peer pressure. The most shocking part about it is that I didn’t even realize that that was what happened.

The first thought I had when I went out somewhere was to post a picture on Instagram and/or Snapchat. Why? To show people that I had a life? To prove something to others? Looking back, I realize how absurd that is because I shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone, except for myself. Going out to dinner or even going on vacation should be about enjoying it rather than trying to find the “perfect angle” or the “perfect background” to take a picture and post for the world to see. If people really want to know what’s going on in my life, they can text me, call me, meet up with me, Skype me, FaceTime me, etc. and we can have a long and meaningful conversation about what’s happening in our lives rather than learning over social media.

Also, it’s not like I stopped taking pictures when I go out. On the contrary, I take pictures to preserve the memories because my mind won’t remember every single moment of my life. I want look at these pictures and remember that very moment and how it occurred. These could vary from silliness, joy and laughter to annoyance, anger and frustration.

The first day or two I felt like I made a mistake when I deleted Instagram and Snapchat. Some people have withdrawals from drug addictions; I had withdrawals from social media addiction. After a week, I felt a weight off my shoulders and I could truly enjoy every minute of my life. I’m not checking how many likes I got a picture and comparing with other people or seeing if someone commented about how I look on Instagram or even checking who’s looked at my story on Snapchat. When I go out to dinner with my family I can enjoy the moment with laughter and deep, heartfelt talks rather than who’s posted a picture twenty minutes ago.

These precious hours that I have now are set aside to figure out who I really am and I just realized that I don’t want to be a person who cares what others think of me. As long as I like who I am, then there’s no reason to get validation from other people.

In place of those two apps, I downloaded BBC News and Duolingo. I downloaded the news because it is extremely important to learn and understand what is going on outside of our circle of friends and to see the happiness/tragedies that people in the entire world are facing. I downloaded Duolingo to learn Spanish properly. I somewhat know Spanish, but it isn’t perfect and with this app I can become fluent in Spanish. The perfect part of it is that I get to learn the language on my own terms and take lessons whenever I have the time and the desire to learn it. Also, it’s much more enjoyable because I don’t have to worry about grades, projects, papers, etc.

So far, I’ve slowly stepped out of the social norm because I really want to figure out who I’m supposed to be. It is definitely scary at times, but I’m glad I took this first step towards finding who I am in the world.