School bathrooms can be a mess more often than not. Poop smeared on the walls, pee on the floor, food (for some odd reason) decorating the toilet seat, milk cartons in the toilet, and monstrous farts from that one stall with that guy who’s always going through it for some reason.

With these conditions in mind, the best place to doodoo is the weight room/dance bathroom. Hands down, no competition. There’s hardly anybody there, doesn’t smell (most of the time), and is clean (also most of the time). Not many classrooms use that bathroom. Most people end up going to the math pod bathroom, considering its easy accessibility. The fact that there’s practically no one in the weight room and dance bathroom gives off a comfortable, nice vibe that lets you relax… you know. Let it all out. 

Not only that, but it doesn’t have the aroma of… pee-pee poo-poo caca. It smells like normal, thanks to the custodians. Most of the other bathrooms smell like someone blew up the toilet and something unspeakable has occurred within their bowels. The catastrophes that take place in some of these bathrooms could truly rival Oppenheimer’s creation with its stench and lasting effects. 

Some argue that other bathrooms are better, arguing for the same points. However, more people use those bathrooms, such as the fine arts or the science bathrooms. A majority fail to take into account how many people frequent those bathrooms. The more people that visit, the higher risk it has of turning into World War Smell: Attack on the Senses. Very reminiscent of WWI, in the trenches of the bathroom, struggling to stay alive due to the mustard gas (diabolical farts).

The biggest factor in ranking the school bathrooms is cleanliness, and the dance and weight room bathroom takes the cake. There’s no toilet paper strewn about, no random fish in a toilet bowl, or beans from the school lunch scattered around. It’s clean and well taken care of, blessed by the lack of people visiting the restroom. Usually, there’s not even dried water droplets on the mirror.

Making a tier list would be redundant if the bathrooms were taken care of by students, not solely by the custodians. Finding a lack of beans everywhere would, in fact, be pretty nice.

The weight room and dance bathrooms remain top tier, top of the requirements for this tier list.

Tier list is as follows (excluding bathrooms in the field house and auditorium):

Weight room/dance bathroom

Gym bathroom

Journalism/computer science bathroom

Math bathroom

Fine arts bathroom

Science pod bathroom

ELA pod bathroom

Social studies bathroom

Art courtyard/Commons bathroom